They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
