I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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