Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
