mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
No stitches, just platelets and will power
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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