No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
