She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My vagina just recognized that song.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
