I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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