i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
