They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
The power of my boobs compel you
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
