Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize