I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
