If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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