it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
