my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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