that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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