Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
