My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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