Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
