how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
