i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize