This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
