He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
