just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Randomize
