so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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