FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
