She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Randomize
