We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
