he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
