YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
