Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Randomize
