Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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