Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize