I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize