When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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