she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
