ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
