4 words: hood of his car
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
And then the night went full on bisexual.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
