SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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