We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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