who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
