anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
