Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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