Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
