it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
