Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
