She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
