Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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