Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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