Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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