Non-Jews are for practice
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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