Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
