it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
