Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
