Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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