please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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