no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
True but thats because hes a fetus.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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