On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize