dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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